I have been the victim of a bully for a couple of years now. Just one person. One person who has decided that she doesn't like me - even though she doesn't know me. I feel sorry for her - I really do - but I will not lower myself to her level - ever. I will however continue to attempt to make things better - try to make peace. Not just for myself but for others.
Bullying bothers everyone. It doesn't just affect the person being picked on. The ramifications often spread far and wide, especially in online forums and so-called "support" groups. Bullies create a climate of fear - where everybody is scared to speak out or take action. I hate watching others stand up to the bully only to then become a victim themselves.
So WHY do people bully others? Bullies are usually looking for attention. They have an innate need to be popular or get what they want and they usually will do anything to make themselves feel important. This is why I feel sorry for her. To have to do that to other people so that she feels ok about herself must be a sad and lonely place to be indeed.
So how do we best deal with a bully? Firstly, it is important to feel good about yourself. Know that you are a good person. Secondly, avoid the bully if at all possible. If this is not possible, do not engage them, try not to show your emotions and definitely, do not bully back. I have, over much time, learned to step away from the situation and ignore the behaviour. I will not allow her to have any control over my life, who I am and what I do.
I hope that if others are experiencing such things, they too can learn to distance themselves. Know that you are not alone.
I'm so sorry you've found yourself the target of someone's bullying. I wish I could provide a tip or hand of support! Is there someone you ask for help? Someone you can turn to.
ReplyDeleteYou don't deserve to be treat that way. Maybe even saying this to this woman might make her realize this too.
"I don't deserve to be treated like this. I would like to be treated with the same level of respect that I treat you with."
Ya never know, maybe she's so caught up in her own unhapppiness and insecurity that she hasn't realized what the extremity of her behavior.
oxooxox
Ginger
Thanks Ginger. I am doing ok. I have a wonderful support network around me. And I am compassionate enough to understand that this sort of behaviour usually comes from a place of discontent or unhappiness. I really feel for her but, at the same time, I have to ensure that I do not let her behaviour affect who I am.
DeleteOnce again, thank you for your words of support and wisdom xoxo
I always took the humor away from a bully. They would make fun of me so I would make fun of myself even more would make everyone laugh with me and then the power would be taken away.
ReplyDeleteI still felt miserable but it always stopped the bullying. They would never continue and usually gave up and left me alone.
The result was me hating myself and creating a persona that was a complete facade but it was defense in school and its what got me through a lot of bullying.
I wish I loved myself more back then to not hurt myself for the sake of stopping others from hurting me. I think self hate is worse than something from someone else.
Great post and an important one.
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